Pastors have non-traditional schedules. Of course, there's the having to work Sunday morning gig, but many also are out a few nights a week because of meetings or classes. I usually have something that's church-related three nights a week. Ideally it would be two, but I rarely schedule four. My wife gets a special place in heaven for being so patient and understanding with this schedule.
That's why this week has been somewhat odd. I have no meetings. No classes. For the last four nights, I haven't had to rush to the church after dinner. I can help give my son a bath (Caroline used to let me give her a bath, but now I can only run the water for her and maybe help wash her. Maybe. Otherwise, it's all mom), read a book or two, wash the dishes, and have some time to do whatever. Last night I read a bit, continued to learn about my new watch (see yesterday's blog), watched the end of a documentary ("The Fog of War") I started Tues. night. I have to admit, it's been very nice. It will be tough to get back in the swing of things when we're back from our trip to Iowa. They say right before women give birth, they go through a nesting phase. That's what I think I'm doing right now.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Something's watching from above
My favorite toy this Christmas was a watch. Not just any watch, mind you, but a watch that, well, watches. I don't recall the exact name of it, but it's more like a system that has two parts. One part is a little device that you clip on your arm or shorts and it has a global positioning system inside it that connects with a satellite. The other part is the watch that communicates with the device and tells me how far and how fast I've run. I'm still learning how it works, but I took it out this morning and it was pretty amazing. At first, it wasn't doing anything and then I wondered, Hmm, maybe I need to press this "start" button and, voila!, something beyond the gray clouds was tracking me, telling me how far I was running. It was a dreary morning and I thought the clouds might impede the signal, but, sure enough, it followed me through the park, through downtown Highland Park, past the library, and down Sheridan Road. No matter where I went, something up there was tracking me and giving me updates on my progress. It doesn't take an ordained pastor to figure out some connections here:
"Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,' even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you."
--Psalm 139:7-12
The best part of that heavenly tracker? No batteries needed.
"Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,' even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you."
--Psalm 139:7-12
The best part of that heavenly tracker? No batteries needed.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Making room for memories
Boxing Day (Dec. 26 to Americans) has so many emotions. I'm sure for millions of kids around the world, a kind-of depression sets in. That's not surprising. They've been geared up for so long for Dec. 25 that the day after has to be some sort of let down. For our household, it was a day of rest. Christmas was busier than normal for us with the addition of a church service and we had some folks over for brunch afterward. Add the opening of gifts before church and a trek down to my sister-in-law's later in the day and we were glad to sit in our mess yesterday. To a point. I was a little more willing than my wife was and last night while I was watching a DVD of "The Sopranos," she was busy throwing out boxes and straightening up.
Another emotion that may come up is guilt or at least a sense of uneasiness. Christmas brings more things into our lives, most of which, if we're honest with ourselves, aren't needed. For example, I got a brand-new coffee maker that does everything except file my taxes. It's a pretty slick machine, but then we have to find a place for our old, simple coffee maker, which still works, but doesn't have all the gadgets that the new one does. As we search for more space, two things may go through our minds: 1. We need a bigger house or 2. We have way too much stuff. I'm guessing most Americans choose option #1.
In addition to our things, though, Anne (my wife) had to make room for some conflicting memories. She gave our daughter the doll house she played with as a little girl and it's an impressive structure, quite large with many rooms and appliances (this family has no problem finding room for their stuff). We had to figure out a way to put in our daughter's room which meant spending time doing some major rearranging. But I think Anne had a little difficulty truly giving it up. I can understand that. She spent hours playing with these dolls and now she has to let our daughter use them, maybe break them, maybe lose some pieces. In addition, there are the memories of her mother infused in every little room in the house. Those memories are rife with joy (spending wonderful times with her mother) and pain (realizing she's no longer here). Those are the hardest ones, perhaps, to come to terms with. It's much harder making room for these than an old coffee maker.
Another emotion that may come up is guilt or at least a sense of uneasiness. Christmas brings more things into our lives, most of which, if we're honest with ourselves, aren't needed. For example, I got a brand-new coffee maker that does everything except file my taxes. It's a pretty slick machine, but then we have to find a place for our old, simple coffee maker, which still works, but doesn't have all the gadgets that the new one does. As we search for more space, two things may go through our minds: 1. We need a bigger house or 2. We have way too much stuff. I'm guessing most Americans choose option #1.
In addition to our things, though, Anne (my wife) had to make room for some conflicting memories. She gave our daughter the doll house she played with as a little girl and it's an impressive structure, quite large with many rooms and appliances (this family has no problem finding room for their stuff). We had to figure out a way to put in our daughter's room which meant spending time doing some major rearranging. But I think Anne had a little difficulty truly giving it up. I can understand that. She spent hours playing with these dolls and now she has to let our daughter use them, maybe break them, maybe lose some pieces. In addition, there are the memories of her mother infused in every little room in the house. Those memories are rife with joy (spending wonderful times with her mother) and pain (realizing she's no longer here). Those are the hardest ones, perhaps, to come to terms with. It's much harder making room for these than an old coffee maker.
Friday, December 23, 2005
My Christmas letter
I'm not writing a Christmas letter this year and there are various reasons why, mainly because the creative juices just aren't there. I've had a lot of fun with writing these letters in the past(one of my favorites was when I summarized our year in haiku), but nothing seemed to jump out at me this year.
There seems to be a Christmas letter pattern with people my age, especially if they have kids. Three areas are covered. First, an update on what the kids are doing and what they enjoy. The problem with most parents (and I include myself in this) is that we're blinded by this remarkable thing we've done: create life. Now, it is a remarkable thing indeed. I wouldn't argue if someone wanted to say it's miraculous, if you think about it. But that sometimes translates into thinking that we have miracle children and want to tell the world how they're developing. By my unofficial survey of letters, though, kids are pretty much kids. Certain-aged children read particular books, like particular things, get involved with particular activities. My daughter does things that a lot of 4-year-olds do and the same with our 1-year-old son. My wife and I marvel at this, but others may not. (They should, though, because our children really are gifted. Really.)
The second area is travel. We used to be able to write about some interesting trips, but in 2005, other than Boston, it wasn't a terribly interesting year in travel. The Iowa State Fair was probably #2 on our list, if that gives you an idea. As a native Iowan, of course, that's a journey worth taking, but, again, doesn't really get anybody else's pulse racing.
The third area is summarizing one's vocation. Ours have pretty much stayed the same. I still really enjoy being a pastor at this church. Anne still really enjoys staying at home the kids. We could have said something about Anne's mom passing away, but most people know that and it's kind of hard to put into words how that affected us.
So, this year, I did a very radical thing. I took out a pen and wrote notes to people. Not long, especially to people I keep in touch with pretty regularly, but still, I worked on my penmanship (such as it is) while telling people the above information in shorter prose.
Summarizing a year in the life can be a challenge and maybe that's why I'm doing this blog so if anyone's interested in what I'm doing they can read it on a somewhat daily basis. Now THAT should get your pulse racing. Especially when I write about my oh-so gifted children. That reminds me of an amazing thing Ethan did the other day...
There seems to be a Christmas letter pattern with people my age, especially if they have kids. Three areas are covered. First, an update on what the kids are doing and what they enjoy. The problem with most parents (and I include myself in this) is that we're blinded by this remarkable thing we've done: create life. Now, it is a remarkable thing indeed. I wouldn't argue if someone wanted to say it's miraculous, if you think about it. But that sometimes translates into thinking that we have miracle children and want to tell the world how they're developing. By my unofficial survey of letters, though, kids are pretty much kids. Certain-aged children read particular books, like particular things, get involved with particular activities. My daughter does things that a lot of 4-year-olds do and the same with our 1-year-old son. My wife and I marvel at this, but others may not. (They should, though, because our children really are gifted. Really.)
The second area is travel. We used to be able to write about some interesting trips, but in 2005, other than Boston, it wasn't a terribly interesting year in travel. The Iowa State Fair was probably #2 on our list, if that gives you an idea. As a native Iowan, of course, that's a journey worth taking, but, again, doesn't really get anybody else's pulse racing.
The third area is summarizing one's vocation. Ours have pretty much stayed the same. I still really enjoy being a pastor at this church. Anne still really enjoys staying at home the kids. We could have said something about Anne's mom passing away, but most people know that and it's kind of hard to put into words how that affected us.
So, this year, I did a very radical thing. I took out a pen and wrote notes to people. Not long, especially to people I keep in touch with pretty regularly, but still, I worked on my penmanship (such as it is) while telling people the above information in shorter prose.
Summarizing a year in the life can be a challenge and maybe that's why I'm doing this blog so if anyone's interested in what I'm doing they can read it on a somewhat daily basis. Now THAT should get your pulse racing. Especially when I write about my oh-so gifted children. That reminds me of an amazing thing Ethan did the other day...
Friday, December 16, 2005
Marshmallow menorah
We live in an area that has a significant Jewish population and there are many reasons to celebrate this. We learn about customs, traditions, and viewpoints that we might not be exposed to.
I have no idea if Christians are in the minority in Highland Park and Deerfield (most unscientific estimates I hear say it’s about 50-50), but every once in a while I get a small sense of what it must be like for someone who is a religious minority. Our daughter goes to a local non-religious preschool, but it’s one that does discuss different religious traditions. Obviously this is a time of year when those traditions are discussed. Last week they talked about Hanukkah and this week they’re talking about Christmas. I had an odd feeling, I must confess, when my daughter brought home her art creation from last week. She walked up to me with a big smile on her face as she held up a menorah. Not just any menorah, of course, but a marshmallow menorah. The marshmallows were the candlesticks, toothpicks were the candles, and jellybeans were the flames. I’m not sure how the Maccabees would have survived with marshmallows instead of lamps, but you get the idea. I have to sheepishly confess that my first thought when she presented this to me was fear that we hadn’t done a good enough job instructing her in Christian symbols and traditions. Does she know about Advent? Why have we been so lax about lighting our Advent wreath? The fact that she’s a pastor’s kid, goes to church every week, participates in prayers every day, etc. probably means she’s getting enough of the whole Christian thing, but it was a weird, fleeting feeling nonetheless.
I wonder what it must be like for a true religious minority? This goes beyond the silly debate about whether the phrase “Merry Christmas” is being excised from our vernacular. It gives me a new appreciation for the devout Muslim or Jew or Sikh or Buddhist or Christian who lives in a place where there is either subtle or forced pressure to not exhibit or hold true to their faith. That is a kind of tenacious faith that I admire and strive for.
I have no idea if Christians are in the minority in Highland Park and Deerfield (most unscientific estimates I hear say it’s about 50-50), but every once in a while I get a small sense of what it must be like for someone who is a religious minority. Our daughter goes to a local non-religious preschool, but it’s one that does discuss different religious traditions. Obviously this is a time of year when those traditions are discussed. Last week they talked about Hanukkah and this week they’re talking about Christmas. I had an odd feeling, I must confess, when my daughter brought home her art creation from last week. She walked up to me with a big smile on her face as she held up a menorah. Not just any menorah, of course, but a marshmallow menorah. The marshmallows were the candlesticks, toothpicks were the candles, and jellybeans were the flames. I’m not sure how the Maccabees would have survived with marshmallows instead of lamps, but you get the idea. I have to sheepishly confess that my first thought when she presented this to me was fear that we hadn’t done a good enough job instructing her in Christian symbols and traditions. Does she know about Advent? Why have we been so lax about lighting our Advent wreath? The fact that she’s a pastor’s kid, goes to church every week, participates in prayers every day, etc. probably means she’s getting enough of the whole Christian thing, but it was a weird, fleeting feeling nonetheless.
I wonder what it must be like for a true religious minority? This goes beyond the silly debate about whether the phrase “Merry Christmas” is being excised from our vernacular. It gives me a new appreciation for the devout Muslim or Jew or Sikh or Buddhist or Christian who lives in a place where there is either subtle or forced pressure to not exhibit or hold true to their faith. That is a kind of tenacious faith that I admire and strive for.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Almost getting arrested (well, not really)
I went to a prayer vigil/rally today at Rep. Mark Kirk's office in Northbrook. It was a very interesting experience.
I'm kind of a novice when it comes to political types of gatherings. I've walked in a couple of marches, but that's really about the extent of it. For some reason, though, the proposed federal budget has really caught my attention. As I've stated before on this blog, I find the combination of spending cuts for our society's most vulnerable and tax cuts for the society's wealthy to be very disturbing and against family values, if I can steal that phrase. Another member of my church came along and we drove down to Rep. Kirk's office. There were about 25 or so of us and I was one of about six clergy, three Christian and three Jewish. We had a brief prayer service outside the doors of the office building which upset the building's manager since we were technically on private property. There was some back and forth about that since a congressman's office should be public property, but we eventually went up to Rep. Kirk's office and spoke to his chief of staff. The clergy group went up together and wondered who was going to be the spokesperson. No one jumped at the opportunity at first. Since I was so new to this, I was hesitant to take that responsibility even though I have done a fair amount of reading on this budget. Finally, one of the rabbis took the lead and when we all crammed into the lobby of the office, many people took turns speaking. I called on my journalist background and asked the chief of staff how Rep. Kirk is going to be voting and he kept saying, "I'll pass this information onto the representative" without giving any commitments. He looked a tad bit anxious. That's the thing that was a real learning for me. Most everyone involved seemed a little nervous. I assumed I was there with seasoned pros (there were a few there), but I think just about every one there may have had the same anxieties I did. Do I know enough? Will I say something dumb?
After about 10 minutes, the Northbrook police showed up. Apparently the building manager called them in (we must have been quite the imposing presence what with our prayers and all), but Rep. Kirk's staff said everything was fine and there were no problems until we left and the police refused to let us pray outside the doors again. We ended up having to go stand in the cold and snow along a busy street so we could be on an unshoveled public sidewalk.
It was a great learning experience and helped build a little courage within me so I can do a little more the next time this kind of thing comes up. There was a man there from www.atcenternetwork.com who was shooting video of the proceedings. Apparently this is a grass-roots organization that puts video blogs about community events so check out that site in a few days if you want to see us in action.
I'm kind of a novice when it comes to political types of gatherings. I've walked in a couple of marches, but that's really about the extent of it. For some reason, though, the proposed federal budget has really caught my attention. As I've stated before on this blog, I find the combination of spending cuts for our society's most vulnerable and tax cuts for the society's wealthy to be very disturbing and against family values, if I can steal that phrase. Another member of my church came along and we drove down to Rep. Kirk's office. There were about 25 or so of us and I was one of about six clergy, three Christian and three Jewish. We had a brief prayer service outside the doors of the office building which upset the building's manager since we were technically on private property. There was some back and forth about that since a congressman's office should be public property, but we eventually went up to Rep. Kirk's office and spoke to his chief of staff. The clergy group went up together and wondered who was going to be the spokesperson. No one jumped at the opportunity at first. Since I was so new to this, I was hesitant to take that responsibility even though I have done a fair amount of reading on this budget. Finally, one of the rabbis took the lead and when we all crammed into the lobby of the office, many people took turns speaking. I called on my journalist background and asked the chief of staff how Rep. Kirk is going to be voting and he kept saying, "I'll pass this information onto the representative" without giving any commitments. He looked a tad bit anxious. That's the thing that was a real learning for me. Most everyone involved seemed a little nervous. I assumed I was there with seasoned pros (there were a few there), but I think just about every one there may have had the same anxieties I did. Do I know enough? Will I say something dumb?
After about 10 minutes, the Northbrook police showed up. Apparently the building manager called them in (we must have been quite the imposing presence what with our prayers and all), but Rep. Kirk's staff said everything was fine and there were no problems until we left and the police refused to let us pray outside the doors again. We ended up having to go stand in the cold and snow along a busy street so we could be on an unshoveled public sidewalk.
It was a great learning experience and helped build a little courage within me so I can do a little more the next time this kind of thing comes up. There was a man there from www.atcenternetwork.com who was shooting video of the proceedings. Apparently this is a grass-roots organization that puts video blogs about community events so check out that site in a few days if you want to see us in action.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Life and death (mostly death) situations
I was watching a little bit of "Blue's Clues" with my daughter yesterday and it was an episode where they explained the three (Christmas, Hanukkh, and Kwanzaa) holidays coming up. Their explanation of Christmas was pretty bland, as one might expect. All they really said was that we celebrate a special birth. No mention of whose birth, but I suppose that's a given. I think. Anyway, that pretty much sums up. We celebrate a special birth. We anticipate the coming of a new life. It's a pretty important subject during this time of the year.
I've been dealing with a lot of death, however, the last couple of days. They're different kinds of death, though. We've had a mouse problem since Saturday and two little mice have gone to mouse heaven since then. Our dog killed one Saturday and the other was caught in a trap this morning. As I dumped Mouse #2 in the garbage and then had a discussion with my wife about our garbage disposal dying, our daughter called out from the other room: "There's a dead squirrel in the backyard!" We both answered: "What?" and then went to inspect. Sure enough, there it was on its back. We're not sure why, but our dog may be on a killing spree though the squirrel looked fairly peaceful. So I went back outside, shoveled the squirrel up, dumped it in a bag, threw it away, and came back inside. When I got to the office this morning, I was told that a long-time member of the church had passed away. She was in her late 90s.
I'm not sure what to make about all this. All kinds of death happens daily, but despite that, so many yearn for this birth that we celebrate in less than two weeks. New life is constantly hoped for, no matter what the circumstances.
I've been dealing with a lot of death, however, the last couple of days. They're different kinds of death, though. We've had a mouse problem since Saturday and two little mice have gone to mouse heaven since then. Our dog killed one Saturday and the other was caught in a trap this morning. As I dumped Mouse #2 in the garbage and then had a discussion with my wife about our garbage disposal dying, our daughter called out from the other room: "There's a dead squirrel in the backyard!" We both answered: "What?" and then went to inspect. Sure enough, there it was on its back. We're not sure why, but our dog may be on a killing spree though the squirrel looked fairly peaceful. So I went back outside, shoveled the squirrel up, dumped it in a bag, threw it away, and came back inside. When I got to the office this morning, I was told that a long-time member of the church had passed away. She was in her late 90s.
I'm not sure what to make about all this. All kinds of death happens daily, but despite that, so many yearn for this birth that we celebrate in less than two weeks. New life is constantly hoped for, no matter what the circumstances.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Magnificat?
I find it more than a little disturbing that during this season when so many will be reading or hearing the Magnificat, Congress is cutting programs for the poor while considering cutting taxes for the wealthy.
Luke 1:52: "He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty." This is one of the things that Mary sings after getting the remarkable news that she will be carrying the Son of God. Unfortunately, it is the lowly who will be left with nothing after the cuts passed by Congress a couple weeks ago. The rich, if all these tax cuts are passed, will receive good things.
For the faithful few who read my blog, I encourage you to contact your representative and urge them to oppose any final bill, or conference report, that cuts services for the needy. Those in the Deerfield area can contact Rep. Mark Kirk at 202-225-4835.
Luke 1:52: "He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty." This is one of the things that Mary sings after getting the remarkable news that she will be carrying the Son of God. Unfortunately, it is the lowly who will be left with nothing after the cuts passed by Congress a couple weeks ago. The rich, if all these tax cuts are passed, will receive good things.
For the faithful few who read my blog, I encourage you to contact your representative and urge them to oppose any final bill, or conference report, that cuts services for the needy. Those in the Deerfield area can contact Rep. Mark Kirk at 202-225-4835.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Three little letters
Sin is such a short word. Three letters. I'll always be amazed at how one can put just a few letters together to create such different and strong feelings. S-i-n.
I've been thinking about sin the last few days for different reasons, but what got me really thinking was a note in my mother-in-law's Bible. She had written down an acronym for the definition of Reformed theology: TULIP. I don't remember all the letters off the top of my head, but I do remember the "T" and the "U". The U was "Unmerited grace." The "T" was "Total depravity." What little I know about the Reformed faith, I do know that the total depravity is a key part of it. We can do nothing on our own. We are lost without grace. There is truth in that, but I also compare that to Psalm139:14: "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Would a totally depraved person make that comment? As in most things, I believe a balance is called for. Some Christians err too far on the depravity (without acknowledging that God created us and, at least initally, saw that we were good) and others on the "fearfully and wonderfully made" (without acknowledging that we are indeed fallen).
Regardless, I have felt the need to reinstate a regular time of confession and examination in my life, which I haven't been very disciplined about. Confession can indeed be good for the soul. It can even restore a belief that we are fearfully made.
I've been thinking about sin the last few days for different reasons, but what got me really thinking was a note in my mother-in-law's Bible. She had written down an acronym for the definition of Reformed theology: TULIP. I don't remember all the letters off the top of my head, but I do remember the "T" and the "U". The U was "Unmerited grace." The "T" was "Total depravity." What little I know about the Reformed faith, I do know that the total depravity is a key part of it. We can do nothing on our own. We are lost without grace. There is truth in that, but I also compare that to Psalm139:14: "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Would a totally depraved person make that comment? As in most things, I believe a balance is called for. Some Christians err too far on the depravity (without acknowledging that God created us and, at least initally, saw that we were good) and others on the "fearfully and wonderfully made" (without acknowledging that we are indeed fallen).
Regardless, I have felt the need to reinstate a regular time of confession and examination in my life, which I haven't been very disciplined about. Confession can indeed be good for the soul. It can even restore a belief that we are fearfully made.
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