Slowly out of the funk

I've been in a bit of a funk the last few days and it mainly stems from "productivity" and "results." We seem to have a big cloud of witnesses who have come to Urban Village at least once. Word seems to be spreading. And yet average worship attendance hasn't increased like we thought. I fret way too much about this and it weighs me down.

So, last night, I did something small. That always seems to help. I was at a neighborhood community meeting (and a contentious one at that--I'd never experienced anything like it) and the room was packed with people who wanted to talk about things like parking spaces and parks. These are the things that can get the community juices flowing. About 45 minutes into the meeting, I noticed an older woman standing and listening. I stood up and offered my chair and she acted as if I'd just awarded her the lottery.

This morning, I was walking through Daley Plaza and a guy was standing on the corner handing out free tastes of Dove chocolate. I stopped by to get one and he told me, "Take a handful." So I did. I had a meeting in the Chicago Temple (First United Methodist) and shared my chocolate largesse with folks who worked in the building, brightening their day. One woman commented, "I really needed this today."

Such small, small things. But it's amazing how service can trump self-pity.

A backpack of faith

I took my daughter to her first day of school yesterday on the subway (which is a far cry from how I went to my first day in 4th grade in Eldora, Iowa!) It was pretty crowded as we squeezed in at the Roosevelt stop. One of the reasons it was crowded was the number of other students who were headed to school and they (like my daughter) all had their backpacks on filled with books and supplies. It became less congested at the Harrison stop because quite a few Jones College Prep students got off there, including one teen who I feared was going to topple over backward, he had so many books in his bag. Most nights I practice a spiritual discipline called the examen, which comes from St. Ignatius Loyola. It's basically a review of the day with God--an intentional time to give thanks and ask forgiveness. An image I find helpful as I go through this process is picturing myself wearing a "backpack of faith" and opening this backpack to show Jesus. It's amazing what I accumulate. Anxiety, fear, selfishness, and unhealthy anger, to name just a few things. All of that weighs me down like the Jones student. But then I imagine Jesus helping me take that stuff out and replacing it with courage, love, and forgiveness. And the load seems a lot lighter. "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light," Jesus says in Matthew. May we take on Jesus' yoke (or backpack) and allow him to take our burdens.