I know I'm stressed when I have one of four dreams. There's the classic, attending a class for my final and realizing I haven't shown up all semester. That seems to be a universal dream. I have three others are are fairly similar. One is basic, which goes back to my days in theatre in college. That dream has me forgetting or not knowing my lines. Another is more recent and usually entails a packed sanctuary and me unable to get my robe on or being late for the service. The final one is one that actually came true last Saturday. I was running in a 10K race in Western Springs. I was feeling pretty good through the first two miles (a 10K is 6.2 miles) and had a sense that mile 3 was coming up. There were about 10 people ahead of me and we were running down a street when a guy next to me stopped and said, "I think we need to turn there." I yelled out, "Turn!" and a few of us turned around to go down a different street. Another woman was there, however, and said, "No, no, the lead guy kept going straight. You've got to go straight!" A quick decision had to be made. Bad dream coming true--running the wrong way during a road race. The guy who first said we need to turn turned. I decided to keep going straight. I should have followed him. I ended up (along with a few others) running about 3/4 of a mile out of the way. When I finally realized that, it was disheartening and my energy got sapped pretty quickly (the heat probably had something to do with that, too).
What a struggle when you have a feeling that you're going in the wrong direction. Wasted energy, loneliness, anger at innocent people. I've been reading Psalm 25 this week, which seems to apply: "Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long" (Ps 25:4-5).
Make me know your ways, O Lord, even when I go the wrong way.
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