Holy ground

Written last Friday...

There’s a “religious” song that I guess you could call contemporary called “Holy Ground” and the first part goes like this: “We are standing on holy ground/And I know that there are angels all around.” It’s not Bob Dylan, I know, but I’ve been humming that song the last 24 hours because I’m currently at a place that is holy ground for me, St. Procopius Benedictine Abbey in Lisle, IL. I’ve been coming here to hang with the monks for spiritual retreats for about 10 years now and I always leave with a peaceful heart. Sometimes the sacredness of the place is overwhelming for me. Yesterday as I walked into my room (or “cell” as the monks would call it), I was surprised at how emotional I felt as I looked out my window at the familiar surroundings. When I was pastor at Riverside UMC, I would come here almost every month. Since my children have come along, though, I’m lucky if I come out once a year. This is my second time this year—if I could come out quarterly, I’d be thrilled. I am unbelievably blessed to have an understanding wife who affirms my desire and need to be here.

There are two main reasons why this is holy ground. One is that I unplug myself from everything and feel myself naked before God. I don’t have anywhere to run or hide and so I’m confronted with my life and questions: Am I fulfilling my call? Am I loving God and neighbor with all my heart, strength, and mind? Am I allowing myself to receive love from God and neighbor in the same way? All of these questions pop into my head as I read, sleep, and walk.

The abbey is not a total escape from society. It’s still in the middle of suburbia so you can hear the cars and airplanes, but it’s secluded enough so I feel like I’m away. There are nice wooded areas with paths that I can lose myself in. There’s an apple orchard and vineyard that I can wander in and admire the literal fruits of some of the monks’ labors. I used to keep myself on a schedule as far as what I did on my retreat—reading Scripture, journaling, praying. Now I’m a lot more flexible and kind of just do as the Spirit leads. As one who is too regimented in his day-to-day schedule, that’s very freeing.

The second reason is to experience bountiful and beautiful hospitality. My liaison is Father Thomas, who is the Guest Master here. I guess you could call him a concierge of sorts. He usually greets me within a couple hours of my arrival (I know the place well enough where I can go to my room right away and start retreating) with a big smile and warm handshake. I’m comfortable enough now where I can go to the various times of prayer (Morning Praise at 6 a.m., Noon Prayer at 12 p.m., Conventual Mass at 4:50 p.m. and Evening Praise at 7 p.m.) by myself, but I need his guidance at mealtimes where he shows me where I should sit. Breakfast is eaten in silence, lunch is a buffet where we can visit with one another, and dinner is also eaten in silence with holy reading. Yesterday was a feast day (the Feast of St. Bartholomew), however, so dinner was extra nice and we could talk. As soon as I sat down, a monk with a heavy Eastern European accent offered me half his red, garden-fresh tomato. I gladly accepted. Next to me was Fr. Paschal, whom I love because he is overjoyed at the smallest things. Soon Fr. Michael came by and offered me a bit of liqueur called Benedictine and Brandy (or B&B as everyone called it) made by a monastery in France. It was Fr. Michael’s birthday so I supposed I couldn’t have refused though I’m a bit of a novice when it comes to drinking anything stronger than beer or wine (not that I’m an expert at drinking those!). It was pretty strong stuff so I took Fr. Thomas’ advice and sipped it after the meal of turkey, stuffing, squash, and chocolate cheesecake.

Many of the monks remember me, a few call out my name, and a few note that I don’t come around as much any more. They don’t say it with judgment but with regret. I agree with them, mention my children, and they smile in understanding.

I’m about to end my time here and though it was only a 24-hour retreat and I leave content. Sometimes I’m fired up to go back out and follow Christ’s example and call. Other times, I’m simply at peace and try to ease myself back into “normal” life. But I am changed every time I come to this holy ground. I hope you have those places, too. Maybe I’ll go through some others in another post.