The virtue of curiosity

One of the best things about this new gig as a church planter is the conversations I have with a wide variety of people. The end of last week was a dramatic example of this, but it's a case in point.

I met with a man last Friday who's the executive director of a homeless organization in the Pilsen neighborhood, a predominantly Mexican area just south and west of the Loop. He served 12 years in prison for accessory to murder and the stories he told me were fascinating. He talked openly about his time in prison, what he learned and how it actually helped him. He also talked frankly about homelessness and Pilsen. In fact, as we were talking about gangs, he went over to his white board and started drawing a map of the neighborhood, highlighting which blocks "belonged" to which gangs. I'm used to a white board being used for, you know, church retreats and stuff like that. Never this and a few scales fell from my eyes about the reality of the city.

The very next day I had a conversation with a woman who's a managing editor of Playboy. We were both volunteering at the same site for the Chicago Cares Day of Service and, since we both live in the same neighborhood, she gave me a ride home from the site. I was really interested in her insights on media in today's society and also I was interested in learning what she knows about straight men. Our church seems to be reaching women and gay men pretty well, but we haven't connected with many straight men. I don't think we're that unusual because many churches also wonder how they can reach men. It was an engaging conversation and it reminded me of one of my tenets of ministry: More often than not, it is more helpful to ask questions than to make statements. Certainly we are called to proclaim certain things, but conversation flows a lot more freely when I begin with curiosity. Who is this person? What makes her tick? Why does he do he does? When conversations begin this way, not only do I learn a lot, but the other person is also usually curious about me and this new church. Only God knows where the conversation will end up, but I feel like I leave a lot more room for the Spirit to operate than if I only make declarations.

Curiosity is an underrated virtue.